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Wednesday, January 06, 2010

grow up well...

it has to come to this stage.
it has to be this way.
it has to end this way.
i'm sorry. i need to guard us from more heartaches.
i'm going to change.
all i ever do now is upset you
i'll don't bring a smile to your face anymore
i just a pest to you, leeching on
i no longer am the one to give you advice
i no longer mean anything good to you
all i give to you is heartache
all i am to you is misery
all i do best now is piss you off
the only reaction that i get.
you were right when you said that it's better without me.
i can only love you from far far away.
you can only grow this way.
i don't want to constantly be in your way.
i don't want you to have mood swings when you see me.
i'll always be here for you.
i'll always be here when you need me.
any other time, just let me be invisible.
don't be mistaken, i'm not angry with you.
i will never be angry with you anymore.
i cannot be angry with you anymore.
i don't look forward to getting things from you anymore.
no more birthday or christmas present or card.
i don't want to carry memories that doesn't matter.
all i hold on to is at least i have love you with all that i am and have and i still do.
it's good enough to know you love me as a older bro like the rest of them in your life.
i have no more regrets.
i tried my best.
i know where i stand and how much i meant. Nothing.
i appreciate how you try to make me a part of your life
but as hard as you try, you know that you don't want me in your life
i do see the difference, i really do.
as much as you try, i probably can't fit into your life.
you don't have to be nice to me just because you're his daughter.
maybe what she said was right.
i'm a fuck up devil.
i'm probably not who you think i am.
i will still be who i am with you but it will never be the same again
i am going to fade out in your life.
you won't even feel that i'm not around anymore.
because it doesn't even matter to you at all.
make me a passer-by.
don't even say hi to me please.
don't have to avoid me.
i will stay clear of you.

:) grow up well.

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